I still miss Crunch.

Most people, I would imagine, go to spin class for one or more of the following reasons: to lose weight, to get shape, or to make friends.

I don't need to lose weight, I'll never be in shape no matter what I do, and the gym is the one place in NYC that I refuse to socialize.

Why do I go to spin? Because I get my best ideas on that damn bike.

I had never been to spin on Monday night before yesterday. The instructor was reminiscent of Jack McFarland from Will & Grace. He did little dance flourishes when we had to switch from position 1 to position 3. It was delightful.

He played the song Shake It and asked if anyone knew that it was actually sung by Miley Cyrus' brother. I was the only one who nodded. Oops.

Let me preface this for you. I'm the most unathletic person ever to be born. I look absolutely ridiculous in my coordinated Nike bra top, shorts, socks, sneakers, and headband. Preppy gym attire doesn't seem to have made a breakthrough yet; the least I can do is match.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I hate the gym.

They only reason I even joined NYSC is for spin class. I don't use any other piece of machinery or take any other sort of class. I get on the elliptical and have to get off five minutes later. I'm tired and bored. Please. I'm spent just climbing the stairs from the ground entrance to the second floor. How I'm able to stay on that bike for 45 minutes and still have energy when I get (not FALL) off is truly beyond me.

They re-did the locker room. It looks the same as it did before. I would have preferred the money and effort go toward a snack bar. Isn't that half the fun of going to the gym, anyway? The food? No? Just me?

But, in any case, if there is a way to get me to go to class it's the guarantee of a flamboyant teacher and crappy pop music.

I'll be back.