Keeping the faith

When I started dating my freshman year of high school, my dad only had one unbreakable rule. I was not to fraternize outside of our religion. "Why date someone you can't marry?" was his reasoning.

In ninth grade???

As usual, he was right.

I've done it before but I won't do it again. If you know me at all, you're probably aware of my mixed feelings on the subject of interfaith relationships. I think people should be happy but I also know that Judaism is already small and we don't need to diminish it further by bringing different beliefs into the mix.

Jewish guys have it made. They have the reputation of being good, solid husbands, which is often true. This is why it's more likely for a family to consist of a Jewish father, a mother of Christian descent, and children who call themselves half-Jewish. Nothing in life irritates me more than this. There is NO such thing as 'half-Jewish'. You either are or you aren't. We go big or go home over here in Yidville. In the immortal words of my beloved Ari Gold, "There are no asterisks in this life, only scoreboards." Oh so true.



Jewish girls don't have it as easy. We have a reputation for being hot in Neiman Marcus and cold in bed. Did you know that this is actually the definition of the word JAP? Materialism beats intimacy. What a horrible rumor! Even though I've decided to temporarily halt the search for my Mensch in Madras, I'd still rather have love than the new Louis Vuitton Monogram Watercolor.

Here are some of my favorite Shiksa Goddesses:


Come on Mandy, give me some candy! Even though I think she needs to stop dipping into our pool, I love this girl. If I ever met her, we'd be fast friends for sure. She dated Zach Braff for two years. He's second in my life only to Jeremy Piven.


I've always adored Rachel Bilson. She dated Adam Brody, who is even less Jewish than Zach Braff. They were my favorite Hollywood couple of all time. I have loved Adam Brody since he played Greg in that Docu-drama 'Growing up Brady'. Rach is now dating Hayden Christensen. Most defintiely not a Jew.


Charlotte York Goldenblatt. At least she converted. Way to keep it in the family!


CJM. Wants to be Charlotte York Goldenblatt when she grows up. (Looks just like her too! Lucky duck.)


AEG. Not yet a Shiksa Goddess, but hopes to be one someday.

And then there's me...



The girl who wears Lilly Pulitzer to synagogue.

I once said that I'd choose a sundress over a Juicy sweatsuit every day. I'm not like other Jewish girls and I still can't figure out if it's working for me or against me. I don't think any guy has ever really understood who I am, but I'm not worried. It will happen, and he, whoever he is, will agree on the equal importance of polos and Passover.

My male counterpart is out there somewhere. With a monogrammed tallis.

Jesus saves. But Moses invests.