Lately, I've had a number of people compare me and my writing to Carrie Bradshaw's. I cannot even tell you what a compliment this is. Carrie is beautiful, adored, and talented: everything I strive to be.
Now that the show is off the air, I feel as though it is my unofficial duty as a CB groupie to bring up issues that SJP's alter ego is no longer able to. And I've been bogged down with this one for quite awhile. And I've argued with friends and I've danced around it on here countless times.
Let's start with the basics. I don't nag or smother. I'm not jealous. I like to laugh and play and buy presents and spoil my significant other. For so long, I've been under the impression that these are key ingredients to being a desirable girlfriend. Am I off my Knoll rocker?
Yet, I date someone to find out months later that he was cheating on me. Or I date someone else, and do countless kind things for him, never to be thanked even once. (It should be noted that in all cases, I've heard through the grapevine that they have gotten theirs. As a good friend of mine likes to say, the karma police are always on patrol.)
What am I doing wrong?
I can't help but wonder... Guys, if you are landing normal, sweet girls such as myself, why are you treating us like utter crap? Do you have any idea how tough it is to find us? Crazy girls wildly outnumber the sane ones. I know.
Male readers... (if you're out there...) it is now your time to shine. Any insight would be greatly appreciated by me and my female readers alike.
I haven't completely given up hope. Its not that I haven't met a few great guys in the city. They are few and far between, but they're out there.
My new years resolution is to stop settling. I've been doing far too much of that since I moved here. Good thing my new year is only a few weeks away.
P.S. I just said to my friend, CFL, that this post isn't super-CBesque. She said to think of it as Season One Carrie. As someone who aligns me with Sex and the City, I trust her judgement. Hey, I'm just getting started.
6 comments:
I feel like I have so much to say in response to this post... but everytime I try typing something up, it just feels wrong.
This is the kind of conversation you have over brunch with a group of friends. Because there's no easy, one off answer that I could post here.
The best thing I can say is that the resolution to not settle is an important one in your life and you seem to have come to that conclusion much earlier than many women. So congrats there.
Good resolution TAG!
You girls keep always going for the jerks. There's something that is just attractive about them over the nice guy who's a little shyer. You fail to see the bad qualities in these guys until it is too late. If a guy is cheating on you or doesnt at all appreciate what you do for him then you should realize this sooner and get out. My other piece of advice is to give the unlikely candidate a chance.
I honestly have a friend with this exact same predicament. I cannot say what it is that makes this happen to her over and over, but she's really the sweetest girl and these guys flock to her like flies! Ugh!! I kinda think that it's like a challenge - maybe if you try harder they'll finally appreciate you? I don't know, either way, you do not ever deserve a mean, naughty boy! Take care!
Good resolution!!! I have never once settled, am single as can be, but most importantly happier than most people I know!
I suggest you check out the book Why Men Love Bitches. I know, I know, the title sounds a bit trashy, but it does not mean "bitch" in the way we typically think. The book is certainly not something which can be taken literally in every instance, but it has some valid points. I am like you, one that loves to take care of others, and while it may be harsh, the book suggests this is not the best way to attract or keep a guy. Hope this helps!
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