Hey there Upper East Siders...

From what I've gathered, most Gossip Girl fans haven't read all twelve books that the show is 'based' on like I have. When I watch the show with others, I constantly find myself saying, "This never happened!" or, much less often, "I remember this scene". Clearly, to translate a book series into a television series takes a lot of re-writing, especially for a series like this, that in writing is laced with four-letter words and excessive sex scenes. I know Rovzar and Pressler have the 'Reality Factor" under control over at NYMag, but to my knowledge, they've never compared the show to the books. Years ago, there was a rumor for a hot moment that Gossip Girl was going to be a movie. I knew I had to find a way play Blair. I mean, who could do her better than me? Leighton Meester, you've done me good. But no one else has. Here's why.

In the book, Blair is cutting, conniving, and classic. She underestimates her beauty and is misunderstood. She is a hopeless romantic and always pays attention to the small details, like hair bows and the perfect lingerie. I see a lot of myself in her, with the exception of the whole bitch thing.

In the show, Blair is all of these things and even preppier than this gal ever could have dreamed. Cheers, LM! It looks as though you are the only one who actually might have read the book.

As for the rest of them...

In the show, Serena is wildly beautiful. She's in love with Dan. I can't say much more. I find her boring.

In the book, Serena is etherial. She doesn't actually walk on ground; she floats. Her beauty causes men to faint. She's free-spirited. She's in love with everyone. Her and Dan date casually for about a week. She's anything but boring. (It should also be noted that I recently read that they are bringing a character on named Aaron Rose as her new love interest. In the book, Aaron is Blair's stepbrother whom she herself shared several incestuous moments with. This should be interesting.)

In the show, Nate is pretty. He's never happy and always pensive.

In the book, Nate is pretty. He's never happy or pensive. He is too baked out of his mind to feel any emotions at all. He lost his virginity to Serena in his parents' bed, not on a bar at some wedding. LAME-O. Now THAT would have been a scene.

In the show, Chuck is creepy, cunning, and sexy. He is, in my opinion, the best character on the show aside from Blair. I'm doubting he read any of the books but he has made the character all his own. And that wardrobe? HOT.

In the book, Chuck is creepy, cunning, and repulsive. He hits on every girl until none of them will have him. Blair Waldorf would not have given him the time of day. He then gets a monkey, carries it around Ross Geller style, and becomes either asexual or gay. It remains unclear.

In the show, Dan is adorable, intelligent, and funny. He is like Josh Schwartz's new Seth Cohen, minus the whole Waspy Jew thing. God, I miss The O.C.

In the book, Dan is anorexic, intellegent, and dry. He doesn't believe in washing machines. He subsists solely on coffee, cigarettes, and bad poetry.

In the show, Jenny is blonde, pretty, and a brat. She's a fifteen year old fashion designer who just dropped out of prep-school. RIGHT.

In the book, Jenny is brunette, unattractive, and shy. She's an abstract artist with one lesbian pal.

In the show, Vanessa is thin and frizzy. Likes to capture things on film.

In the book, Vanessa is fat and bald. Likes to capture things on film. Dear lord, those chapters were downright painful to get through.

In the show, Rufus is a hunky dad who used to be in a cool band.

In the book, Rufus is a washed up beatnik poet who doesn't believe in showering. Damn, they were one dirty family. And I mean dirty as in the opposite of clean.

In the show, Lily van der Woodsen is an ex-groupie who likes to get married. Still holds a flame for Rufus.

In the book, Lily van der Woodsen is actually married to Serena's biological father. Uppety as all get-out. Doesn't know what Brooklyn is or that people like Rufus even exist.

In the book, Erik van der Woodsen is Serena's hunky older brother who goes to Brown. Had a short affair with Blair.

In the show, Erik van der Woodsen was in the movie Spy Kids like ten years ago and has decided to forego a new hairstyle since. Younger and gay.

In the show, Eleanor Waldorf is a bitch.

In the book, Eleanor Waldorf is an idiot. Couldn't design anything to save her life.

Despite this, I am a fan of the show. It's fun, fashion, and follies. In my humble opinion, however, it can't compare to the written version. If you're searching for a fast, laugh out loud read, look no further.

I actually thought that this week's episodes was one of the better ones. Did you all catch Chuck Bass using one of favorite glossary words, Bromance? And Blair's reference to J. Sisters was dead on. Coolest place in NYC to get your wax on. I used to go there... until I discovered Bliss. And realized that I'm not that cool. And her ensemble in the last scene? Perfection.

I must admit that while I loved reading the books, being able to skip around the city in which it's all happening is pretty amazing.