I spoke to a friend today about living in New York City. I told her that I believe only you know what's best for you, and that moving to New York is the best thing I've ever done for myself. And then I paused and struck a pensive pose.
Don't get me wrong; I do plenty of nice things for myself. Usually these acts of kindness come in the form of Bliss Spa appointments and purple Bergdorf Goodman shopping bags. In the words of Coco Chanel, "Luxury must be comfortable. Otherwise, it is not luxury." I grew up with the notion that I should treat myself as often as possible. And that I do.
Sixteen months ago, I was living in Florida and I had no reason to stay. Graduation was upon me and I had to get out. It had been a long four years and I couldn't bare the thought of being away from my mother, father, and sister for another day. I put on my cap and gown, hugged my friends and my dog goodbye, and I got on a plane to New York. We decided as a family that I would come back up North. I never once viewed it as selfish or beneficial. I didn't think I was doing it for myself. I thought I was doing it for them or maybe for us but never just for ME. Most people I know in this city came here because they wanted change and opportunity even if it was irrational and life-altering. I came because it made sense. I didn't know what else to do.
Who knew that a mindless choice that didn't come along with an aesthetician or a Gucci bag would be the nicest thing I ever did for myself? I sure didn't.
Living in New York City can be tough. The pressures are never ending. It's big and easy to get lost in. I woke up on Friday morning and something inside of me FINALLY clicked. I stayed in bed for hours, just rolling around in my underpinnings and laughing incessantly. There were minutes in a row where I didn't even come up for air. I felt like me again. I found a little bit of myself in the infinite abyss.
I did this for me. I've gotten a lot of great presents in my day, but this is by far the best one I've ever given myself. Living in New York is better than any pair of Prada shoes. It's priceless. It's not always easy, but it is always worth it.
I'll figure it out. Every day is a challenge and I never quite know what's ahead of me. I'm starting to realize that I wouldn't have it any other way.
Besides, if I hadn't stopped to question my life, I might be tooling around Boca in a Lexus right now. Can you imagine?