Keep away from Runaround Lou...

Here's my story, it's sad but true
It's about a guy that I once knew
He took my love and ran around
With every single girl in town...*

*Please don't google the above lyrics. I changed them slightly for post purposes. The original version is called Runaround Sue and is about a huss. The TAG version is about fighting the admittedly losing battle against the double standard.

This blog would be a hell of a lot funnier if I wrote explicitly about my dating experiences in New York City. I could yammer on about an Awkward Award-Winning date I went on, but I'm fairly sure the perpetrator is still a reader. I'm not looking to hurt any feelings or ruffle any feathers, so I keep most of these hilarities to myself and a few close friends. But, oh dear readers. The laughs we could share.

I digress and move on to the two points I present to you this week.


Exhibit A:


The above photo is of a board I keep over my desk, on which I post things that inspire me. (Please note the Peanuts comic strip of Snoopy writing the Great American Novel. Obvi.) These quotes are usually written the moment I hear them, which means lots of scrap paper and chicken scratch. My best friend said this last night. In case you can't read:

"...because you, not I, have decided to extend this interaction beyond the confines of these four walls of Dorrian's."

Brilliant, no?

GUYS: why ask for girls' numbers if you have no realistic intention of contact?

Is it that you believe that it is good manners? Because, actually, I feel it is quite the contrary. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a lovely conversation and ending it with, "Nice to meet you". When you do the opposite, you're simply a Runaround Lou.


Exhibit B:

I have recently noticed a pattern in my dating life. In accordance with my above statement, I'll be general.

Several guys from my past have either: a) dated a girl shortly before meeting me and then promptly ending things with said girl to date me; or, b) unbeknownst to me until after our relationship ended, cheated on me with a girl and then realized that he really wanted to be with me, and sent said girl away.

It should be noted that to my knowledge, excluding yours truly, all of the above couples are back together today.

GIRLS: why are you taking back guys who were once so quick to dump you for another girl?

And when I felt suspicious and questioned my accusations, I was answered with, "I have no idea what you're talking about!" OR "I would never REALLY date her. She's so unattractive!"

How do you like that, gals? Runaround Lou and he's ALL yours.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I don't believe in third chances.

And that's why I'm single.