Dear Piven: IT'S OVER!

I'm sure some of you longtime readers are reeling in your computer chairs, but it's true: my secret (so secret, he didn't even know about it) love affair with Jeremy Piven has officially ended.

When Speed-the-Plow opened on Broadway back in October and Jeremy Piven was set to star, I was prepared to pay any price to be able to sit mere feet away from my longtime celeb crush. When my dad told me in November that he had planned a surprise night for AEG and I in the city as part of our holiday gifts, my gut instinct was that he got us tickets. When we were in the car last month and heard on 1010 Wins that Piven had dropped out of the show due to alleged mercury poisoning and my dad nearly swerved off the road, I knew my gut instinct was right.

In the irony to end all ironies, I saw Speed-the-Plow yesterday evening minus one very important Jewish counterpart. I liked the show. I felt the new lead was trying harder to be Piven (emulating all of his mannerisms to a tee) rather than be the character. Don't get me wrong; the role was written for him. AEG turned to me after the first act and said, "Piv would have been SO good", and it's true. I imagined him being completely in his element. I couldn't help being a bit heartsick that I missed what was probably my one and only chance to share a room with Jeremy Piven by just a few weeks.

It's over, baby. It has to be. I have confused you with your alter-ego for far too long. Too many rumors floating around for too long. A friend recently told me that you're dating a bottle waitress from Mansion with a questionable background and a history of sex tapes. I can't deal. I will continue to love and watch Entourage and Ari will always be my favorite. But you, as a real life person? Done.

Over and out,
TAG