Tuesday, December 15, 2009
25 on the 25th
This year is my golden birthday. I am turning 25 on January 25.
Any birthday is a big birthday in my house, but a milestone birthday that also happens to be my golden birthday? Blowout.
I told my parents that I don't want gifts and requested that they not give me anything. They rolled their eyes.
The truth is, all I want is to be happy. And most days, I think I'm there, but then I have days like yesterday and I am reminded that there is always work to do and improvements to be made. Some of you long-timers may remember what a mess I was this time last year. I never explicitly said it, because for so long I hoped people who read this blog would hold me in some high esteem, but we all know that I'm far from perfect. My state of unhappiness was clear from my writing. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I slept through most meals and dropped 11 pounds in a month. I wasn't myself. This year, I'm content just to be out of that dark place.
Twenty five. I always thought I'd be further along by now. Married. Have a book published. The optimist in me is yelling to celebrate what I do have, which is a lot. Last year, I swore that I wouldn't let myself be single at 25, but that was a naive thought. Promises that can't be kept should never be made.
As for the celebration, I'm really not sure. The plan has been to ignore it and stay home. Maybe my friends will drag me out and we'll toast to the future.
I bought Kate Spade party invitations just in case I change my mind.