When I first moved to New York, I did a lotta this...
...but, and call me crazy, the novelty of crazy Saturday nights and miserable Sunday mornings has worn off. Lately, I've been staying in to write and saying "no, thanks" more often than not to drinks out. It's not that I don't love a good cocktail or the magnificent mystery that a Saturday night in New York City holds, it's that I feel stymied. I'm twenty five, I want to be a published author, I want to accomplish great things, I want to NOT wake up and think, "UGH". (Well, maybe once in awhile.) I want to have fun but I want to be productive. I'm desperately searching for the happy medium. And part of me knows why I'm avoiding certain social situations. I am vehemently avoiding the male species and THEY. ARE. EVERYWHERE. I have a lot of single girlfriends and what do single girls want to do during a night out? I'll tell ya. They want to meet men. And I'm so beyond tired of being disappointed and hurt. This is undoubtedly childish of me. Everyone gets hurt and everyone, at some point, winds up disappointed. Oh, what I wouldn't do to meet a decent guy who didn't have intentions of screwing me over. (You know, besides the ONE I already know.) I have walls up and there's no telling when I'll regain the strength to knock them down. But that's besides the point.
I'm stuck. Does anyone else feel this way or I have I gone so far out on this limb that I'm all alone?
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I'll say goodbye to all my sorrow and by tomorrow I'll be on my way
Posted by JGIWC at Wednesday, February 10, 2010
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14 comments:
I totally feel you! I'm always asking myself "Is tonight going to be worth wasting an entire Sunday for?"Free time is so valuable out in the career world! The guy factor isn't really incentive any more, because most guys I've found "out" aren't really relationship material. Grr...twenties are frustrating!! :)
Hey, Im not sure if I have ever commented on your blog, but I have been reading it for a few months - I went through the same thing right before I met my boyfriend. I felt like I just couldn't go out and meet anymore men that would just not fit my needs and especially my wants. You'll find him girl, especially at the time when you least expect it :)
As you know, I absolutely and completely agree with you. You are not alone on your feelings having walls up, I am right there with you. It is an awful way to be, but then again, what else could be expected when we've been hurt like we have? It's a vicious cycle. But again, remember what I told you when I saw you--you were inspiring to me when I came up there--you are absolutely fabulous and seemingly content with being single. That was great to see and really helped me! So keep it up, and remember how great you are!
I have been that way since probably 22. It just isn't worth the hangover to go out ans party. There are still those days where I do, but in general, I prefer bed times around 9 or 10.
oh darling, you are so NOT alone. i'm in the same boat with you!
I definitely get what you mean! As a college girl, sometimes I feel like I'm actually 30. I pass on waking up hungover ever weekend. I think this definitely ensures that when you find the boy, you wont' be looking, and you'll find him in a place of interest-not a party.
Don't worry!
I totally agree! Every time I read your posts I think it could be me writing them. I have avoided all those crazy party nights too by living home during college. I also avoid "the guy thing" because I am afraid of getting hurt. It just sucks because I never know when to take a chance so I just don't and feel like I am the one missing out.
Love your blog!
Amen. I feel the same way completely. AND I am still in love with my ex. But I think we just have to remember how wonderful and happy we are on our own.
As someone who never enjoyed a hangover and much preferred getting up early and working out and reading my New York times at a coffee shop.. you are not alone. You will meet an entire new kind of person when you pursue life this way. I remember taking tennis lessons on a sunday morning and meeting such great guys, who were into health, fun and fitness. and also still had a great time but were past the bar scene. It is an awakening of sorts when you get to this point but you also open yourself up to many more possibilities. Sometimes when you keep doing the same thing with the same result, you need to try something else. I think you've discovered that.. xoxo
I started feeling that way around 26 when I was with my ex. Then, we broke up and I went a little going out crazy every weekend, and then I met LC at 28. I like to go out and have a good time once or twice a month. But I can't do it all the time anymore, or I won't be productive!!!
I felt the EXACT same way when I lived in Chicago and I was 24... I wanted to write for a daily paper, instead of working retail by day and editing and freelancing at night. I got a job in a tiny town in VT, moved there, and within 2 years I was an award-winning writer, and *Surprise* had met the man who would become my husband! Do what you love and everything else will follow -- I truly believe this!
PS -- love your blog!!!
Thank you one and all for your kind words and encouragement. It means more to me than you'll ever know!
You are certainly not alone! I think thats why everyone looks back at their college days with fondness, but not so much that they want to put their bodies through that all again lol.
Isn't it great to know that there are people out there going through the same thing as you? You have some great readers...I do love a cocktail, but I also love doing other things like previously said and I believe doing those things will lead you where you need to be!
P.S. I did not meet Mr. Right in a bar, but I sure tried hard!
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