Why I lost my cool around 6:45 this evening

It's no secret that my parents are in the fashion industry and still do a chunk of my clothes shopping for me. I was thrilled when they gave me a pair of these fab ballet flats from J. Crew yesterday.



Unfortunately, the shoes were a half size too big. I could put an insole in them, but would rather not for two reasons: the first being that the shoes are very low-cut and the second being that J. Crew flats stretch. I always prefer to size down.

That being said, I called the store and they were able to track down a pair in my size. They offered to hold them for 24 hours. I was happy to have an 'excuse' to stop in; a few gals at work had mentioned that they were having a bangin' sale.

I headed to the store after work, picked up a few things, and got in line. They found my shoes, I handed over my pair to make the exchange, and that's when it got ugly.

They wanted a receipt. I didn't have it. I explained that it was a 'gift'. They wanted the credit card that was used to pay for the shoes. Once again, I explained that I didn't have it because it was a gift. They refused to do an even exchange for me. They refused to help me in ANY way.

First of all, forget about the fact that my family spends a lot of money in that store, because that doesn't really matter. A lot of people spend a lot of money at J. Crew. I'm no one special. J. Crew does business in spite of itself. I will say though, that I have a J. Crew credit card and I think that should mean something, but it doesn't seem to. Second, OWN YOUR BUSINESS. I was in that store for a good thirty minutes, and there were no shoes in the sale section from the very moment I walked in. It wasn't like I could have even grabbed a box, shoved it in my shopping bag, and tried to 'exchange' it for a free pair of shoes. Which brings me to my third point. As someone who works in a retail capacity at a corporate level, I understand that they have policies and want to maintain consistency, but I also know that you make exceptions in certain situations. I have a J. Crew card, I'm purchasing other items, and I am asking for something very simple.

J. Crew is constantly claiming that they have top notch customer service, but I seem to find myself in situations like this more often than not, and lately the complaints far outnumber the compliments about the company in general.

After I left the store in a huff, I met my parents for dinner and told them what happened. They were able to find the receipt when they got home, so tomorrow I'll run to my mom's office to pick it up and run back to J. Crew to attempt the exchange once more.

Really, J. Crew? Not nice. But, I do love the shoes.

What I want

I want to travel. I want to be let loose in unfamiliar lands. I want to feel uncomfortable.

I want to eat well. I want to stop munching on crap. I want to look good naked.

I want my little sister to join Kappa. I want to share this part of my life with her. I want her to know that there are other places in the world besides the very small bubble in which we grew up that are safe and warm and loving.

I want to write. I want to finish my book. I want to turn this into something more.

I want to learn how to cook. I want to whip up entrees and desserts. I want to be able to make meals for my future family.

I want to spend more time with people I love. I want to wrap my arms around them. I want them to know how much they mean to me.

I want to be adored. I want to squeeze and shriek and let myself go. I want to know that I can.

"We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."

We laughed, we shopped, we sang, we danced, we ate, we drank, we clapped, we yelled, we cried. We sobbed.



I learned how far I've come and yet, how much more lies ahead.



My sisters make me feel safe, beautiful, and worthy.



They always know how to make me smile.



I think someone else said it best, so I'm going to quote her. "Kappa made us the girls we were and the women we've become."



Thank you for an unforgettable week. I love you all more than words.

All my bags aren't packed and I'm not ready to go

Au Revoir readers, I'm off to the West Coast for my sorority convention! Some of you long-timers may remember this trip down memory lane... I am flying nonstop this time so sadly there is no chance of being stuck in Dallas.

In Typical Teddi Fashion, I will be burning the midnight oil, doing the 101 things I should have done days ago, including but not limited to packing, hair straigtening, bathing suit searching, binder reading, and bopping around my apartment to vintage Gloria Estefan.

I am so fortunate to have this opportunity to represent my region, stay and play and dine in a beautiful resort, spend time with my sisters for the next five days, and most of all to be able to do it at zero cost. A free vacation with some of my best friends - does it get any better, I ask you?

Stay connected with me via Twitter - especially all you Kappa girls!

I will return to you Monday with lots of photos and stories.

Until then... I'm SO happy that I amma.

Turning worry into wonder

Sometimes I ask people, "When and how did you know that he was the one?" One of my nearest and dearest (and newly engaged!) girlfriends told me that her now fiance was really the first man to ever court her and go above and beyond. My mom says she knew that my dad was the one when she never wanted to be apart from him.

These are circumstances and feelings that I don't know from. Lately I've been piecing together what I do know, and it has dawned on me: I have a fear of commitment.

I'm the most unlikely candidate for such a phobia. I want to get married, preferably before I'm 30. I am incredibly supportive of all of my friends who are in relationships. In fact, when someone recently suggested that I am jealous of my attached girlfriends because I'm single, a close friend was quick to say, "That's not true. Nobody is a bigger cheerleader for love than Teddi." And that made me so proud on so many levels.

Yet, I think back to my most committed relationship and realize that it was clouded with doubt. I never took him as a date to any of my family weddings though he was always invited, and when he asked me to accompany him to one of his family weddings, I politely declined. I did take him to my sister's Bat Mitzvah, but I did not let my mother include him in the formal photo album. (And thank God.)

We were together largely in part because it made sense, but more largely in part because it just seemed like the right thing to do. It was love at first sight but it wasn't the end all be all, and we spent a lot of time living off of the glory of the former and trying like hell to fight the latter. I realize now how young and stupid I was; that I almost succumbed to something so major because it "seemed like the right thing to do". Only now do I understand that I didn't really understand any of it.

Nowadays, it takes so much for me to even talk to a guy, much less go on a date or give anyone a chance. In the three years I've lived here, I've introduced one guy to my family, and looking back, I'm not sure it was the right thing to do. Not because I didn't care about him (I did and do), and not because they didn't like him (they did), but because I wasn't ready, I just didn't know it then. I am very hesitant to let anyone get too close.

I've never been courted and I've never been with someone whom I didn't want to be apart from. At this very moment, I can't fathom being with someone that I would put on the same love level as the people who mean the most to me - my mom, dad, and sister. Everyone has different ways of knowing, and I think that's how I will know. I used to worry about this, but now I just wonder. Hence my post title.

In the words of Bethenny, the shop is closed and the lock is double-bolted. I tell my father that he has set the bar far too high. He says that he was not this good at 25, and my mother agrees. He tells me to look for someone who is smart, sweet, and makes me feel right. I tell him I don't want to look.

He says that's even better.

If I could hang out with any celebrity...

...I have to say that it would be Bethenny Frankel. (You were thinking I'd say Larry David; he would be the conclusion to the statement "If I could marry any celebrity".) I just adore her, and I am so sad that Single Bethenny and Single Teddi never got to hang out because I think it would've been a hoot.

Cue the eye roll... Bethenny has been such an inspiration to me. She started out on the Housewives as the underdog. The solo among duos. (Hi, life.) Though we are very different, for years I have seen these pockets of her that capture something in me - the bluntness, the self-branding, the sense of humor. Oh, the humor. No one (with the exception of Larry) has me laughing out loud more than she does. She tells it like it is and she's managed to capitalize on her banter and talent. She made it happen. She is a mogul. She got the man. She got the baby. She even wrote the best-selling book. She has proved to me that YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

Plus she's got a banging body that I am beyond envious of.

And Good God, I should only be so lucky as to land my very own version of Jason Hoppy. What a kind-hearted, down-to-earth, genuine guy. And handsome as all get out!

I raise my Skinnygirl Margarita to you, girl. Here's hoping that one day I'll have my very own man, baby, and best-selling book too.

The top ten things you need to know about the Lilly Pulitzer Warehouse Sale

1. There is no signage. This is the only clue that we were in fact in the right place.



2. If you are gung-ho about the product, want the absolute best selection, and don't care about prices, go the first day. Pitch a tent, camp out, do what you have to do. We went the last two days, and I have to say that the experience wasn't really what I expected. I thought it would be far more intense. I was ready to go toe to toe with overzealous preppies and never got the chance.

3. I'm not sure if this happens every time, but there was a gun show smack next to the Lilly sale. The line for the gun show was a good ten times longer than the line for the Lilly sale. Wah wah.

4. Speaking of lines, if you get there before the sale opens, you will wait on line - even the last day.



5. If you're not from the area and are planning to stay the night, like we did, there is a lovely Radisson on the same property as the convention center where the sale is held. We literally drove from one side of the parking lot to the other. So easy. The King of Prussia mall is also very nearby - lots of restaurants and shops (in case you don't score at the sale) within arms reach.

6. The "fitting room" - notice the singular - is a large, open space with a curtain. It's all out in the open. I'm shameless and have no problem strolling around in my skivvies in front of complete strangers, but if you do, wear the ample undergarments.

7. My advice is to go in with a spending limit in mind. Lord knows it's easy to get swept away with Lilly. I promised myself I wouldn't spend more than $200, and my grand total was $182.

8. Keep your expectations in check. I think most of the stuff goes during the first two days. When I went, there was a plethora of dresses and skirts, very few tops and cardigans, and no pajamas or jewelry. The only shoes there were sizes they don't offer in-store.



9. There was a single box towards the back of the sale that had samples in it for $5 or $10 a piece. There wasn't much left by the time I saw it, but I could imagine this being a great resource towards the beginning.

10. Pay close attention to all of the product. There were certain things there that had clearly been made solely for the sale. I don't know about you, but it irks me when companies say that a certain product is "selling for $___" when it never even made it to the store in the first place.

Overall, we had a great time and I think we'll do it all again next year. I think the most important thing to know is that while I had been anticipating this for years and it wasn't quite the earth-moving event I hoped it would be, anything-fun filled and dressed in Lilly is a success in my book.

You may be surprised to hear...

When I see a cute baby, I start to smile and wave like a maniac.

I am perpetually walking around my apartment with one shoe on, searching for its mate.

Even though I am far from gorgeous or perfect, most days I look in the mirror and feel pretty okay with what I've got.

I am no longer the hopeless romantic I once was. I'm learning that romance has to balance with reality.

When I am overcome with happiness, I like to sit alone and sob for a couple of minutes. It's just how I deal.

I hate to fight, but I am feisty when I need to be. If you upset me, you better believe I'm going to tell you.

Though I keep JGIWC very prim and proper, I have a potty mouth in out loud life. I'd say that I'm trying to work on it, but that would be a lie.

I don't take myself seriously at all. I am completely neurotic and I wouldn't change it, any of this, for a thing.

From one "Kappa Prep" to another

My sorority sister and friend, Kappa Prep, tagged me to do the below meme. I tag anyone who loves a good questionnaire as much as I do, which I hope is many of you.

Favorite color: Yellow. It is so vibrant and explosive and happy, kind of like me.
Favorite Brands/Designers: I'm all about the P's. Phillip Lim and Prada.
Favorite Restaurant: I'm fairly certain that this survey originated in Dallas, so I'm going to tell you my favorite restaurants there, which are: III Forks, Citizen (is it still good?), Mango, May Dragon, and, OF COURSE, Mi Cocina. (Keep in mind that I haven't lived there in over 7 years and am a little behind on the Big D food scene!)
Hobbies: "She loves to laugh, she loves to sing, she loves everything..."
Favorite thing about yourself: My sunny disposition, positive outlook, and optimistic point of view.
What does your room look like (color scheme, theme, etc.): My apartment IS my room as I live in a studio. Lots of blue, seashells, and clean lines. I'm going for a Hamptons beach house look.
If you could have dinner with 2 people (dead or alive) who would they be: Larry David and no one else. I want him all to myself.
What is your next “big splurge”: A pair of Christian Louboutins.
What is your favorite joke, quote, or saying: Oh, so many. "Go the extra mile. It's never crowded." And, "I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish." And, of course, "But it's good to remember love is possible. Anything is possible. This is New York." And if you know where any of those are from, I love you.
Anything else you would like us to know about you (random fact)!? Oh God. I think I've told you far too much already.

Those schoolgirl days of telling tales and biting nails are gone

I could tell you that I cried during tonight's episode of Glee, but that would be a lie. I sobbed.

I don't know if it was the bad day I've had or my general disposition, but I think it was both. And of course it was the songs. Good music often drives me to tears.

There are so many things I want to say and write, about love and loss and joy and sorrow. I want to tell you about losing the once and former love of my life and finding out that he married my polar opposite. About the the dark days that plagued me and losing 12 pounds in one month because I lost my hunger for life and slept through almost every meal. About cutting ties and building bridges, drawing borders and crossing lines. Pleasure and pain. Everything that's brought me to today.

But the truth is that I can't. Because it's in the past, and I want to keep it there.

I'm growing up. Every day gets a little bit harder and becomes a little bit easier.

Won't stop believin'.

Things I always have...

...in my freezer: CPK pizzas, Amy's meals, and Ciao Bella sorbets. I like to mix two flavors in one bowl. My favorite combo? Chocolate and raspberry.

...in my fridge: Bug Light, skim milk, and bottled water.

...on my desk: return address stamp, postage stamps, Mac book.

...on my coffee table: food-scented candles, starfish, Vera Bradley photo album.

...on my nightstand: Advil PM, Fresh Sugar Lemon body lotion, iHome remote, a hurricane full of seashells.

...on my vanity table: Bobbi Brown cream shadow stick, pink Tweezerman tweezers, Shu Uemera eyelash curler, YSL L'Eyeliner Noir.

...on my bathroom hooks: gray Gap robe, Turbee Twist, KKG towel wrap.

...on my dresser: Curb Your Enthusiasm DVDs, family photos, Wii.

...on my bed: monogrammed pillows, remote controls, and if I'm home, me.

A day in the life...

7:30 BlackBerry alarm goes off. Reset it for 7:45 and doze off.
7:45 Turn on the Today show.
7:50 Turn on the hair iron.
8:01 Matt Lauer says that people with curly hair want straight hair, and people with straight hair want curly hair. I laugh out loud as I pull my Jewish locks through my GHD.
8:25 Make my bed and take my "What is JGIWC wearing today?" TwitPic.
8:29 Put on earrings before slipping out the door.
8:41 My iPod dies right as I'm hopping onto subway ride #1. I say, "Oh, man!" out loud. Oy.
8:56 I get in line at Starbucks to order my usual decaf vanilla latte and oatmeal w/brown sugar. AC is broken and my hair is revolting.
9:04 Walk into work.
9:05 Call my mom.
9:06 Open email and start writing my daily to do list.
9:44 Run a brush through my mop top.
around 10 AM I realize that Starbucks probably didn't make my drink decaf. I CANNOT calm down.
10:19 I receive an email from Real Simple entitled, "What did you want to be when you were little?" I smile as I silently answer, "A writer."
10:44 Order Boy Vey: The Shiksa's Guide to Dating Jewish Men after recommending it to a blog reader.
11:03 Snacktime! Reach for a pack of Annie's Cheddar Bunnies.
12:37 A man on the street compliments my intern and I, telling us we are beautiful. When we don't respond with anything other than "Thanks," he pitches a fit that if he were in a suit, we'd be all over him. (He was in a white tank and jeans, for the record.)
12:40 I run into a dear friend while in line for lunch. We catch up while waiting for our salads.
12:53 Settle back at my desk with my Teddi Salad. (Which, by the way, if you're wondering, is: organic greens, carrots, corn, garbanzo beans, parmigiano, and grilled shrimp with honey balsamic dressing.) Can't eat out today because I want to leave work on time.
1:05 I find out that Rue McClanahan, who played Blanche on The Golden Girls, has passed away. Heartbroken.
1:26 Comment on Stephanie Klein's blog. She's writing a screenplay, and I am thrilled.
1:45 Read an article about Jewish women and their obsession with food and fat.
2:18 Talk to my boss on the phone. Giggle. Love her.
2:46 Consider going to Belmont Stakes with some girlfriends on Saturday. I like any excuse to wear a large hat.
3:03 Laugh at my Twitter status from last night. It was pretty funny.
4:05 Read this interview with Larry David and fall in love with him all over again.
4:06 Attempt to stifle fits of laughter. Can't seem to CURB MY ENTHUSIASM.
4:39 Snacktime! Cottage cheese.
6:13 Hop on the subway.
6:22 Meet a girlfriend at the Theory sample sale.
6:30 I find an amazing pair of leather shorts. I am under the impression that they are $70 and prepare to purchase.
6:31 I discover that they are in fact $200 and boo. Loudly.
6:35 We decide it's overpriced, as most Clothingline sample sales are and leave in search of food and alcohol.
6:50 We hit up Cavatappo, one of my favorite wine bars in the city.
6:55 Five minutes until happy hour ends! Two glasses of Sangria, stat.
8:35 Walk into my apartment, put my bag down, and peel all of my clothes off.
9:03 Bubble bath!
9:17 Paint my nails with Essie Sugar Daddy.
9:35 Call my mom.
9:53 Turn on Bravo in anticipation of Real Housewives of New York. Suspense is killing me. Will Bethenny and Jill reconcile? Either way, I am 101% Team B.
10:02 Smile big when I see that Ramona is renewing her vows at The Pierre. That's where my parents got married!
10:06 Start to tear up while watching Bethenny and Jill. It's hitting close to home.
10:18 Fit of laughter. MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU CLA-ASS!
10:31 Research flights to visit one of my best friends in North Carolina.
10:51 Text my mom and ask her if she's tearing up over the Real Housewives finale. She says yes!
10:55 Book flight to NC!
11:11 Make a wish!
11:23 Remove makeup, brush teeth, wash face, apply eye cream. Time for bed! Apparently it's exhausting being me. Sweet dreams!

Life Lessons I Learned from Carrie Bradshaw

The best outfits often come from the most unexpected combinations.

Dating all the wrong guys makes it that much easier to look for the right one.

Very few women can get away with their bra straps showing, and I am not one of them.

Equal parts modesty and confidence mix beautifully.

You can't force what's not meant to be.

Using the preface, "I couldn't help but wonder" makes almost any statement sound more eloquent.

Sexy is messy hair and a great pair of shoes.

There is nothing in life that good girlfriends can't cure, or at least make better.

Being young, single, and in New York City isn't a circumstance. It's a privilege.

Being a writer and living in a studio apartment IS all it's cracked up to be. I am my favorite cliche.