Default faults

Let's face it, there's a lot wrong with me. You know it, I know it. I am actually the most comfortable in my skin that I've ever been and I really love who I've become, but I think it's more far more fun to talk about my flaws.

I'm annoying. I can't even imagine how many of you find me terribly annoying. I try so hard not to be, but I know I am.

I'm awkward. Again, I try hard not to be.

I'm dramatic. Only with myself, not with other people. I can't help it; I'm a writer.

I'm neurotic. The Larry David, Woody Allen kind of neurotic. There's just no other way of putting it.

I have terrible short-term memory. On the upside, I have an amazing long-term memory.

I am horribly blunt. This one's tricky because I don't actually view it as a fault, but I'm sure others do.

I'm pushy. This is the worst of the bunch because I can't stand pushy people and I've become one of them. But what I'm realizing is that there has to be someone bossy in many situations and sometimes it's going to have to be me. Sometimes my little sister calls me "Lucy". (As in Lucy van Pelt - as in Linus van Pelt's big sister, from the Peanuts gang... She's crabbier than crab grass. You know the one.)

I have lots of rules... but I don't make anyone else follow them.

This was unbelievably cathartic and I highly recommend it. Also, this list is closed so please don't add to it. :)

DTR

I had dinner with one of my dearest girlfriends tonight. After I told her all about my weekend in North Carolina, I asked her what was new. When she told me that she and her new man are now 'official', I asked her how that came about.

"We had the 'DTR' conversation," she replied.

I have always prided myself on being quick as a cat with any and all acronyms, but this one left me stumped.

"Define The Relationship," she explained. He told her he wanted to DTR, asked her to be his girlfriend, and she said yes.

God, what a brilliant breakthrough. I don't know about you, but relationships past teenaged years are all kinds of ambiguous to me. In high school (at least at my high school), if a boy asked you out, you were together. Easy as that. Those six simple words - "Will you go out with me?" - said so little and yet so much.

I feel like in the relationships I've been in since then, the DTR has either been awkward or nonexistent. In most cases I've said something along the lines of, "So, what are we doing here?" because I was craving clarity. Which leads us to today and why I am single. I loathe anything forced and unnatural.

It is refreshing for me to hear that there are still old-fashioned gentlemen out there who actually want to DTR. I think it may be my new favorite abbreve.

How did you DTR?

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

This past weekend, I got to combine two of my favorite things... One Tree Hill and my best guy friend!


Me and M - Halloween 1988.

Let me explain. M and I have known each other since we were in diapers. He was literally my first friend and after all this time, we're still super close and know each other to a tee. He just so happens to reside in the small North Carolina town of Wilmington - where Dawson's Creek was filmed, where One Tree Hill is taped, and where countless movies have been made. You know of my love for Bethenny, but have we ever discussed my insane girl crush on Sophia Bush?!



I totally nominated her for my sorority's Alumnae Achievement Award (yes, we're sisters!) and will continue to until they honor her with it. If you're a fan like me, you should check out her blog. She is so passionate and so much like Brooke Davis. It's kind of a chicken and egg situation - I'm not sure which came first, my adoration for her or for the show. As both a writer and an NBA fanatic, I love the idea that a boy stepping onto a basketball court changed so many lives. What a story line. (And yes, I cried when Nathan FINALLY got called up to the Charlotte Bobcats!)

Sadly, I didn't run into B. Davis, but I did get to see some of the One Tree Hill sets.


The River Court - where it all began...



On the very same bleachers that Sophia has sat on... swoon!



Clothes Over Bros and... Karen's Cafe? Here's hoping for flashbacks in the upcoming season!


I so enjoyed my time in Wilmington... it is such a charming Southern town. I hope I'm able to return someday!

Today, I am thankful for...

...my parents.

...chardonnay.

...supportive superiors.

...good girlfriends.

...Ciao Bella sorbet.

...pretty lingerie.

...email archives.

...opportunity.

...possibility.

You'll always remember your first...

As a Jewish teenager growing up in Dallas, I can't think of music that I connected to more than Dave Matthews Band. And as a writer, it mystifies me. It's like poetry come to life. "Before These Crowded Streets" is the first album I fell in love with. After eleven long years of being a DMB fan, I finally got to see him live at CitiField last weekend. My heart was beating so hard and I felt the music in my chest. It was exhilarating.



Standing in the crowd, two things became incredibly clear. 1) I am likely the only Dave Matthews fan who has never smoked pot. Ever. 2) I truly regret waiting this long to see him. I wish I had gone in high school. Shoulda, woulda, Prada.

I don't have one favorite Dave album - but here are the songs that are on my favorite DMB mix.

American Baby
Ants Marching
The Best of What's Around
Crush
Don't Drink the Water
Everyday
I Did It
Out of my Hands
Rapunzel
So Much To Say
The Space Between
Stay
Too Much
What Would You Say
You & Me

(No, Crash is NOT on the list. I think it's overrated - so sue me!)



You & Me is new, but it may be my all-time favorite Dave song. He sang it, and hearing it live was incredible. I hope that my husband and I will dance to it at our wedding someday.

Finally seeing Dave after all these years was so gratifying. It took me back, digging up memories and moments that have long been tucked away safely. I hope that my first was just the beginning.

Please excuse me...

...while I get back to basics. This has been a very busy Summer thus far and I have run myself ragged. I'm off nursing myself back to 100% health by sleeping more, eating well, and taking better care overall. I have lots to tell you about and will be back soon, promise!

You already know the answer.

This past weekend, one of my best friends came into town. Sarbear recently got engaged and this was the first time I saw her since her fiance popped the question. Shortly after she arrived, she told me to close my eyes and presented me with this pretty little package.




After looking at the DVDs (two of my favorite movies of all time) and reading the note, I looked up at her and said, "You already know the answer."

Sara and I met in Kappa, but it wasn't until senior year that we became good friends. As I go to know Sara over the years, I thought she was one of the coolest girls I had ever met. It's years later and I still feel that way. She is so smart and incredibly well-read. If I need to know anything about anything, she is always the first person I go to. We are so comfortably similar and yet so wonderfully different. She is the Peyton to my Brooke. We have been through so much together I can't believe that I get to stand beside her on her special day - I'm honored and thrilled.













Sara, I am so unbelievably elated for you. You have found love and happiness with a wonderful man and truthfully, I can't think of anyone more deserving of the fairy tale ending than you.

I am the happiest bridesmaid in the whole wide world.

I can't wait for the time to come when I'll be shining like the sun

Do you ever find that inspiration comes from the least likely places? I got home from dinner with one of my best friends and turned on my TV to find The Lizzie McGuire Movie on Disney. Confession: I am OBSESSED with all things Hilary Duff, ESPECIALLY Lizzie McGuire.

I adored Lizzie McGuire. I so appreciate when television is well-written, and I thought this show was exceptional. I loved that she was so pretty and so awkward and that it tackled real issues while still being age appropriate. Hannah Montana does not even compare. Most of all, I love Hilary Duff and that she's the sole survivor from her generation of child stars. She's sober and engaged. You go, girl!

I like listening to her music because it's clean, poppy, fun and every song has a great message. "I Can't Wait" always makes me smile. And right now, no matter how silly or naive it may sound, it defines my life to a tee.

Sometimes all you need is a good friend and a glass of wine to pull you back. It's hard to stand still when everything around me is changing. Often I feel as though I'm being left behind and it's all falling into place for everyone except me. I have to remind myself to take a deep breath, to be patient, and to keep doing what I'm doing. Through the haze of heartbreak and the ubiquitous uncertainty, one thing remains true.

I can't wait.

Spending the 4th with my #1

I spent the holiday weekend in Sarasota, Florida with my Nana. It's a quiet beach town that I quite enjoy. It's always great for a getaway.

Nana is my only living grandparent. I grew up within 20 minutes of all four grandparents in Miami, which I never took for granted. When I visit Nana's house (I go several times a year), I look at every photo closely, flip through my Dad's Bar Mitzvah album, and watch home videos. It's really something being a house that doesn't belong to you but is so much about you. I really feel at home there.



Normally when I'm in Sarasota, I get to see a chunk of my dad's side of the family, but only my cousin Alex was able to make it this trip. We had a great time catching up.



I celebrated our nation's birthday with a delicious brunch, dinner, and watching fireworks from the lanai. I wore a red and blue Marc by Marc Jacobs top, a white Vineyard Vines skirt, and a vintage gold star necklace.

It's always good to leave and it's always good to come. I feel very lucky to be at a point in my life where I can say that wholeheartedly. I'm blessed to have such a wonderful grandmother. As I get older, I see so much of her in me. Every time I see her, I just wish that she'll live to see me get married. (And that's a clever little prayer, don't you think?)

Kiss and Makeup

My relationship with cosmetics has always been curious. I love to shop for it and talk about it, and yet even though it's been a part of my daily routine for over ten years, I feel like I still don't know how to put it on. I'm always lost when reading magazine articles about how to get a fuller pout or more volume. I already have big lips AND big hair. It seems like nothing is ever geared towards me. Do you ever feel that way?

Someone recently suggested via Formspring that I post my daily makeup routine. I want to make a few disclaimers before I get into detail. I am a total cosmetic novice, so this is by no means advice. I've recently settled into a comfortable routine. I used to go to extremes: I would either leave my house with no makeup (which my mother frowns upon) or I would leave my house wearing too much makeup. I now feel as though I'm at the age where I want to experiment less, but also where it feels irresponsible to leave the house bare-faced. I use 7 products every morning. Most importantly, I don't consider myself to be beautiful or anything close to it, but I do think makeup helps what I've got look better.



I always do my eyes before I do my face - it's a trick I picked from from Trish McEvoy years ago. I use only Bobbi Brown's Cream Shadow Stick and YSL's Eyeliner Noir. I am fiercely loyal to both of these products, but I still haven't found a mascara that I love. I just use whatever is around, and I always use a Shu Uemera eyelash curler. My lashes are pathetic, and nothing seems to help.

Traditional foundation is too thick for me. I love Bobbi Brown Extra SPF 25 Tinted Moisturizing Balm in Extra Light. I apply it with a Trish McEvoy Deluxe Blender brush. Over that, I apply Fresh Face Luster in Seventh Veil with a Trish McEvoy Face Blender brush. Then, I apply Bobbi Brown Bronzing Powder in Medium with a Bobbi Brown Bronzer Brush. All of these brushes are costly, but I am a big believer in shelling out the extra dough for high quality tools.

The last thing I use is Fresh Satin Luster face palette. I love this thing. It lends the perfect amount of glow. I use the pink on my cheeks, and if I'm feeling glitzy, I apply the white under my eyes and the peach on my lids.

I never do anything to my lips at home - I can't be bothered. I take Laura Mercier lip balm everywhere I go. For a night out, I use Bobbi Brown Rich Color Gloss in Tutu.

I have always adored getting my face done up for special (and sometimes, not so special) occasions. I love to hit one of the counters at Bloomingdales, sit back, relax, and let someone skilled work their magic. The next day, I try my best to emulate the artist, but even after years of paying close attention, I have yet to figure out their tricks and my face falls flat, figuratively.





Truth be told, I feel best when my makeup is done (professionally) and my hair is a mess. There's that walking dichotomy, Jewish Girl in Wasp's Clothing side of me again.

She don't believe in shootin' stars, but she believe in shoes and cars

A hearty thanks to those of you who left a comment on yesterday's post! It's always nice to commiserate together, isn't it? As planned, I went back to J. Crew today with the receipt. I got my shoes and I also picked up this spots and sparkles cami for $16.



Just as the sales associate had completed the transaction and was about to send me on my merry way, she looked at me slyly and said quietly, "I really shouldn't have returned the shoes, but oh well."

I literally held up my hand to stop myself from exploding, both literally and figuratively. I looked her square in the eye and responded, "Thank you for your help. I appreciate it. Have a nice day."

J. Crew customer relations will be receiving a long letter from me in the near future. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

The purpose and significance of this post title is twofold. Yes, I do believe in shoes and am happy (/relieved) that I was able to get the flats in my size. Aside from that, this lyric from Kanye's "Flashing Lights" feels ironically appropriate right now.

Whether you've known me my whole life or have been reading JGIWC from the beginning, I think we can all agree that I am not the girl I once was. Dependent, idealistic, naive. Don't get me wrong - I am still all of those things, but the degrees have differed wildly. My boss, who has known me for some time and is also a dear friend, told me yesterday that she likes how assertive I've become. I must agree. New York City has hardened me, but I don't mind. In fact, I quite enjoy it. I have really grown up these past few years.

I used to be the girl who asked all the questions. I remain completely curious about every single aspect of life, but the difference is that now people ask me questions too. They want to know my answers, get my opinions, hear my take on things. It's exciting to finally have something to say.

I've figured out what I want. Now I just have to figure out how to get it.

And by the way, I have ALWAYS believed in shooting stars. So this title, while great, is admittedly slightly inaccurate.