At a recent yoga class, the instructor asked us if we could have one thing in great abundance that would make our life significantly better, what would it be?
I wished for faith.
There are often times when I want to spill my guts here - the way I used to - but it's hard. I feel stymied. I know my posts lately have been shallow... but only because in a recent post that went just a tiny bit deeper, I referred to depending on girlfriends for dinner dates and was met with a comment informing me that I'm still single because I'm a 'heifer'. (Their words - not mine. I wouldn't dream of using that term to describe anyone.)
And of course, a number of loyal friends and readers rushed to my defense, for which I am so grateful. The good always outweighs the bad. Always.
I know that being a writer means putting myself out there and opening myself up to constant criticism. And I believe it's worth it. The first comment I ever received on here was negative (and extremely offensive). But look how far I've come. And I know that the internet is for two things: porn and complaining (thank you One Tree Hill). Yet somehow, I am still taken aback every time I receive malicious feedback. I can completely understand why people wouldn't enjoy this blog - but I will never understand why they can't just stop reading and move on rather than taking the time to write mean, spiteful things. The pen is mightier than the sword and by publishing this on the internet - I know I'm asking for it. That knowledge doesn't make the insults less hurtful, unfortunately. I wish it did.
Jewish Girl in Wasp's Clothing is a labor of love and the gift that keeps giving. I just wanted to let you know that it may take me a little while, but I'll get back there.
Thanks for being patient with me while I wait for a little faith.
Oh I know exactly what you mean. I go back and forth between being super open and superficial. It's so hard to write your heart down and then get nasty comments. I can never figure out what sort of joy the rude remarks bring to the authors either. I once posted a brownie recipe and had someone tell me I must be fat and they would never eat it because they didn't want to be fat too. How about just not reading my blog if it offends you so much.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! You'll find your faith in your own time.
Beautiful post! Some people are just haters! It's always because they are insecure and usually because they are crazy (not in a good way)!!
ReplyDeleteThat's one seriously unhappy person who felt the need to say something that was so lacking in class!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, though I rarely comment. I think you're just the cutest!
I just don't understand how some people have the capacity to be so cruel, mean and heartless. It makes me angry towards them and feel sorry for them all at the same time. But mostly I feel anger. ;) Sorry you've had to deal with this.
ReplyDeleteI think that most of the negative comments that bloggers are experiencing come more from what my son (computer geek and gamer) calls "griefers" than from legitimate blog readers. It seems that these kids, who are usually young males between 12 - 20 with nothing else to do, scour the internet looking for things to post their hateful comments on. It is just their cheap form of entertainment. Sad really. You can tell these are from young kids just by their choice in words. "Heifer" isn't something mature blog readers would use in that context. Preppy Pink Croccodile mentioned a comment on a recipe post saying that she must be fat and they didn't want to be fat too. That doesn't sound like what a real blog reader would say either.
ReplyDeleteWith this information, maybe you can push past the griefer posts by hitting the delete button and realizing that some 13 year old boy somewhere just got a giggle. A good way to discourage their coming back is to not even mention those posts. Why bother griefing if they can't get a rise?
Hope this helps.
MYFWBS
I'm a quasi blogger and therfore have less than a handful of followers. I tried being very open and venting on the blog and although I didn't get any negative comments it's still difficult to decide what to post and what not to post since I don't want to offend anybody and don't want to be judged (whether people comment or not, I worry that I'm being judged). Anyway, I admire your openness and enjoy your blog.
ReplyDeleteUnhappy people do cruel things. Not ALL of them, of course, but what kind of happy people go out of their ways to hurt others, right? We can only pity them.
ReplyDeleteI love that your blog strikes a lovely balance between the fun and the fancy, and the deep and insightful. That's why I read. That, and you're such a sweet person! Anyone who doesn't see that just doesn't have her eyes open.
Hi, I want you to know, I LOVE your blog and have been a follower for quite some time. On the surface one would question why and how, because I am a forty year old African American Christian woman, who has been married for 10yrs with a 3yr old son, I live in a town so small that when the college is dismissed you can count all the residents on two hands. I said that to say, the internet can be a cruel and hateful place, but it can also be a place of inspiration, hope, entertainment and FAITH. When you are true to yourself, your real self, you have the power to touch people you never imagined. I get such a kick out of your blog, even the "superficial" posts :) It's such a pleasant escape! Even for the people who leave nasty, vile comments. I have learned that where there is hate, hurt is just beneath the surface. And I think if we are honest it is human nature to mock or judge, that which we do not understand. When you stop being true to yourself, the haters win. You'll know when the time is right to share more.
ReplyDeleteThis is really lovely, and I do agree. I feel like my blog has been mostly superficial lately too....hardly anything of substance and I want to change that! I think I need some faith too.
ReplyDeleteWhy do people have to be such jerks? I'm sorry that you've gotten mean comments! Those anonymous losers feel so badly about themselves that they have to hurt others. I just don't understand it. Keep your chin up! You've got loyal followers/readers that enjoy what you write!
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I absolutely adore reading about every little thing you have to say, be it personal or just fun. I don't comment much but just want you to know that I love the way you write and I get excited every time I see you've posted something new.
ReplyDeleteI just want to thank you for sharing your life adventures with us. I've been a long time reader and I follow you on Twitter but I've never posted. I enjoy coming to your site everyday to see what your updates.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work and I love your blog!!
Hi! I have been following anonymously for quite some time and reading this post made me feel compelled to leave my first comment! It broke my heart/made me see red to read that people would leave such malicious comments. Ugh. Haters are gonna hate, but if its any consolation, I think you are fabulous!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've been following you anonymously for a while now after finding you by googling for Kappa bloggers. And I just wanted to say that I think that you are simply fantastic, strong, and someone I'm proud to call my sister even though I only know you through the internet. I hope things get better with mean commenters!
ReplyDeleteI also follow "anonymously" and love to hear about your life, although I am old enough to be your mother!! You seem like a great friend, grateful daughter, and super sister!! My only advice - stop sweating being single and enjoy your your youth!
ReplyDeleteWhether your posts are on the lighter side or talk about deeper things, I always enjoy reading your blog. For everyone one silly person who wastes their time writing a mean stupid comment, there are dozens of others who think you are fabulous!
ReplyDeleteOMG! I just read this post now...you are SO not a heifer....You are young, sweet, beautiful and skinny! Obviously a jealous person out there in internet-land. Ugh, so sorry, you had to even read that!
ReplyDelete-middleaged mom on longisland